Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
