I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
