Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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