My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
