OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
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I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
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I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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