i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
