She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
