I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
