I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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