Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
