i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
