I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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