Only a mothe r could love this liver
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
