I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
