She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
