is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
