There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize