holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
