Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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