I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
