matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
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