Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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