Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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