real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Little spoons don't ask big questions
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Oh god it's open bar.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
