$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
