Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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