my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
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Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
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I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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