Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
