So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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