Quick, to the slutcave!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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