Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize