garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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