Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
