how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
