what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
