hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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