Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
