At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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