im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize