So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
