how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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