well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
