Porn is love you can see.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
