I showed him my bush... on skype.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
