You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
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