Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
