Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
