I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
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I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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