I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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