why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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