Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
