I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
