We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
