She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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