In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
