I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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