Having a random hookup so left but love u
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
